Being a Gargoyle Otherheart
This text was taken mostly verbatim from my tumblr post here.
hintze-of-bird asked: I’m super curious about your gargoyle-ness; would you be willing to talk a little bit about A) what made you confirm the ‘type and B) the experiences you associate with it.
I’ve been wondering if I am gargoyle-hearted as an extension of being a Natural History Museum (with close association with the one in London) and I figured I might as well ask, haha. No pressure to respond, though!
oh i love this ask. i really should talk about it more. I tend to say that I am gargoyle 'hearted, but there are a lot of labels that might fit. Kith and archetype are the two that seem to fit the best alongside otherhearted. So do take that into consideration.
I kinfirmed them upon being around them frequently. I spent a few months in northern france and spent most of my time in and around medieval architecture and buildings, so there were quite a few! It was a very quick thing, not something I spent a lot of time thinking about because it was so vidid. Just a very very strong familial feeling towards them, the sense that they and I were more alike than most things. I understood them, they understood me, and it brought a lot of peace. I remember standing under them and watching my peers and just having this moment, the gargoyle's shadow cast on the ground in front of me, where I felt that I could just sit there with them forever. And watch.
I have always been a bit aloof. Quiet, awkward. For most of my life I have been a spectator in the corner, observing but never taking part. And it's not something I've ever been too upset about, it's just how my nature has always been. There is a bit of self-deprecation to it, of course, even if I've never been sad about it. A very alienated feeling that you can really see in all of my 'types.
Of course, I have never been a lump on a log. I will be distant, but I will not be useless! I guess that's why I stick to gargoyle more than grotesque. Their function in architecture gives them a concrete purpose beyond superstition (which is something I tend to avoid).
To be gargoyle 'hearted is about that distance. It's about being built to sit atop and watch. Carry my weight, do my part, and not really much else. I chime in, but only when necessary.
Like all my 'types, it's something that takes a less than desirable aspect of myself and twists it into something positive, something easier to talk about and interact with.
I am a gargoyle in my sorority, unable to breach the gap and participate. I am a gargoyle with my family, at the park, and even online. I lurk, I observe. For better or for worse, thats what I do and how I work. Just like a gargoyle up on a wall, perched there to do its task and not much else. Sometimes I like to think that I protect everyone I watch over, but I'm not sure if I actually do... ha! Although I do care for them, my distance does not equal distaste.
And on a more positive note, just like the mythology around the beasties, my stone can melt away and I can come to life. The right people are able to bring me down, stop be from being so distant.
those little beasties on the wall are just like me! they're just like me in so many ways and I love them. They aren't as prominent in my life as gillmen or even stitch, but they are still pretty ding dang neat.